A Mum Finds her Voice

In honour of Light It Up Blue, Autism Awareness Month 2016…

I’m WINGING IT again. I’ve given it thought and I think now I’ll say: My oldest son has an Aspergers brain.

There. *Long exhale of breath*

He knows it. Frankly, he tells everyone he meets.

He ‘gets’ it; His brain is wired a unique way and it makes him awesome. Simple, right?

But, actually, no. Not simple.

He is beginning to discover everyone else doesn’t get it, this simple fact. Even me, at times (*gulp*). Yes! EVEN I cringe sometimes when he announces it.

More and more he is understanding it’s more COMPLEX than just his personality makeup, the way I explained it to him back when he was aged 8. He’s different. And it often hurts.

He’s kind and people are mean back.

He’s honest and passionate about being fair and just, but others come out on top by lying and tricking the people in charge in his life.

He knows TONS about some topics and is so enthusiastic to make you an expert too, for FREE, but you’re not interested. In fact, his energy makes you frustrated. It feels like he’s sharing his most exciting news and all we want to do is argue or rubbish it.

He sits down at the school canteen table with a smile on his face, and you all get up and leave?! – and the world says HE’S the one with social interaction difficulties?

High school is hurtling towards my son like an oncoming high speed train and there’s a blunt challenge in his outlook – I’m Aspergers. How will this high school business cope with me?

I admit it, I’m as nervous as him. More so. I’m not ready for a big wide world!

I want acceptance for him. I want inclusion. I want happiness SO much.

But actually I want more than that. I want people to say ‘lucky you!’ to me… And see what I see, and believe I am blessed.

WTF, a syndrome?!!

Without Aspergers brains we wouldn’t have Microsoft, Lego, NASA, Apple and Facebook … To name but a few CORE aspects of life as we know it! Is this amazing brain REALLY a disability?

So socially he’s a bit, well – “blunt in conversations, justice oriented, black and white in his thinking, awkward in eye-contact, overly-focused on a few subjects, has odd speech at times, misreads some social cues and can be clumsy”….

But I say… So? Are we each perfect, us Non-Aspies?

He’s BRILLIANT.

Beyond tender and concerned when you’re sad.

He’ll never try to belittle you.

Be your friend regardless of how you look or sound.

Soooooo demonstrative of his affection. Big HUGS!

A deep thinker, passionate to make a difference in this lifetime he’s been given … An unquenchable energy and drive.

Honest. ALWAYS.

And yet…a Comic! A bubbling up longing to see you abandon whatever is holding you back – and join him in LAUGHTER. He can be hilarious!

My son definitely makes the world brighter. I wouldn’t have him any other way. Yes, there’s challenges for him and by extension, me and us, his family… But I would be lost without his amazingly wired mind. He brings me soooo much love and happiness and his vulnerability is precious.

He’s a gift, and I hope by raising awareness people like my son won’t feel alone , misunderstood , sad, angry or frustrated that they can’t find their place.

DIVERSITY SHOULD BE CELEBRATED.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “A Mum Finds her Voice”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s